NIKIKAKARIKI

I drink too much
I dance badly
I sing even worse
I eat questionable food
I kiss my friends
I hug my birds

Dear Andrew

I’m just taking some time to get this off my chest.

You killed our baby, our little feather baby who made us a family. You killed him. He didn’t “just die” you actually killed him.

He loved us and trusted us and you killed him. I wasn’t there but I know when you took him into bed for cuddles he was cuddling up to you and loving you and trusting you as his daddy and you fucking killed him.

I came up to bed, the lights were all out so I had to feel my way up, I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, and then I hear you shouting of me, and you show me, and he’s just there,flat and dead, and I scoop him up, and he’s stiff when I scoop him up, and you’re going “I don’t know how this happened” and I’m holding him in my hands and he’s actually flattened, and you’re sat going “I don’t know what happened he was lying on my stomach”

What happened was Melon was happily snoozing in your chest and you rolled over and crushed him and he never had a fucking chance.

He trusted you, and you killed him, and I can’t even look you in the eye right now.

Not only that but my manager b then took the time to ring the landlord to ask about it which is 100%bang out of order.  Would McDonalds, Wetherspoons, any other sort of employee for example ring US to all about someone gambling habits?  No they fucking wouldn’t.

Whinge

So I haven’t wrote on here in a while, mostly because I’ve been happy and had nothing to whinge about,  but I’m just so unhappy with work now,  I love my job,  I really do,  people be all “shitty job at shitty corals” but I like it.  It’s just all the inevitable drama of the workplace, I’ve been told that everyone’s gossiping about me,  which tbh I already knew, but now my cluster manager had heard some sort of crack off a customer that I was in the kings Arms, too drunk to walk and my friend had to put me in a taxi home. None of which is true but suddenly I’m getting lectured about “representing the company” Sorry but no,  when I’m not in work and not in work clothes I am not representing you.  All this despite the fact is not true,  me and Alice were in the kinda arms,  we  had a drink,  we went over the road had a drink in the sun then went to town. Now by the time I was picked up from town yes I was fairly tiddled, but not when I was in the King’s arms,  jesus. Fuck off Whitehaven rumour Mill.

I wore a kicking rad outfit today but I didn’t have time to get a photo svoo you’ll just have to take Monty word for it

I wear so much make up to try and make up for the fact I got so fat.
I let Andrew spend over 40 pound on estee lauder primer and eyebrow pencil because obv if I can make my face perfect nobody will motor in fat.
also shaved my eyebrows but I’m genuinely rocking them

If I just keep painting I’ll be okay. 
These are all the drugs I did this week.

If I just keep painting I’ll be okay.
These are all the drugs I did this week.

I have been having awful dreams lately and I feel like they’re acyually altering my reality

I feel like I have nobody to talk to at the moment, and I eish I could tell you but I can’t really.